SHE

1

 I hated her

 Immediately I saw her, I hated her 

 Young, pretty, fair, skinny, nice bone structure, pretty hair, yes, the works.

 I hated her. Intensely

 I stepped into the consulting room and closed the door silently behind me.

 She looked up from behind the desk, where she was writing with lovely painted fingernails. Pink they were

 She looked up wearing her white coat with that thing they put around their necks She smiled at me.

 Lovely smile, perfect dental structure, white Colgate teeth 

I still hated her

 ‘Good afternoon’, I said 

 She responded in a soft voice. 

The type of voice in CK Mann and Obuors rendition of the song ‘Juliana’. 

Yes, that type of sing song treble voice that replied ‘I yam Juliana’.

 I noted her lovely slim fingers on the computer keyboard. Unmarried as well. 

 I walked slowly towards her desk and took the chair opposite her 

Waaa look! She even had time to put on a soft kind of makeup.

 2 

This is what I could have, should have, may have become 

But diverted paths, unfruitful years, second guessing and just good old patriarchy with a dose of dogmatic religion sealed in King Agorkoli era cultural suppression

 ensured I couldn’t,

 guaranteed that I didn’t, 

certified that I hadn’t 

 I looked at her and smiled. 

 She . 

 This small brilliant, fianga girl who held my future in her hands

 Who looked like she hadn’t missed a single school day in her entire life, 

 Infact, may have even been jumped a few classes due to sheer brilliance 

Not because she had opened her legs for any lecturer 

Hadn’t heard the mantra of can’ts, shan’ts and shoudn’ts and couldn’ts 

Hadn’t spent hours in back breaking unpaid labor of potential wives 

Hadn’t been given off for marriage as soon as she had her first period 

Hadn’t been used as free labour to nanny her younger siblings 

Scrubbing, cooking, cleaning, dusting, selling, buying, changing, peeling, pounding, chopping, hacking, carrying, searching, watching, waiting…waiting…waiting 

She. 

She was my personified outcome statement 

She embodied what I had been fighting for. 

 As it was said, ‘by the year 2020, at least 70% of all Ghanaian girls should have at least 8 continuous years of higher education’. 

 All the equality marches, advocacy campaigns, petitions, strategizing sessions, mentorship meetings, and so on and so forth 

Today, I have met her. 

My impact statement. Personified. 

 Sitting right here in front of me. 

 Young, skinny, pretty, brilliant, confident, professional and free and yes…female.

 African female oh how can I continue hating her? 

This is the Africa I wanted 

The Africa I have been fighting for 

The future of Africa

 XX chromosomes on full blast 

I smiled back at her ‘Doctor,’ I started 

 -end-

(c) Teiko Sabah , 2019